she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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