its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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