you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize