I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
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I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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