I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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