hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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