I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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