Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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