3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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