I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Damn victory sex feels great
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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