you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
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I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You made out with two different species that night
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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