i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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