Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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