gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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