hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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