Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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