There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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