you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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