is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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