apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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