Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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