That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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