My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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