break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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