textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize