we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize