you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize