She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize