So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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