TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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