Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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