make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize