and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize