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I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sponge bath it is.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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