cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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