'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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