im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
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I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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