it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize