We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize