I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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