dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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