I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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