my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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