You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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