The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize