Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize