It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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