I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize