Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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