I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize