i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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